Realizing you have alopecia areata is an extremely traumatizing experience. For me, it was July 2021. I was standing in front of the mirror pulling my hair into a clip. Lifting up my hair, I noticed I could see scalp. Upon further examination, I realized that there was a significant circle of bare scalp showing.
I had a meltdown. I mean, a total meltdown. For the rest of the day, I moved through my tasks like swimming through jello. I was downcast and dejected, and couldn’t bring myself to say a word to my husband about what was wrong until the next day.
As I always do when anything is the matter, I turned to Dr. Google. In this case, I learned that there are only two types of hair loss. The kind that causes patchy baldness rather than overall hair thinning is called alopecia areata. It’s an autoimmune condition, which means that the immune system goes haywire and starts attacking the hair follicle as though it were an intruder. I saw scary photos and videos of people who have lost 50 percent or more of their hair, and I became even more freaked out than I already was.
I immediately called to make a dermatology appointment. As a new patient, I had a three month wait. Concerned that I would continue to lose hair, I began searching for ways that I could mitigate hair loss on my own. The first thing I did was replace my shampoo, conditioner, and other hair products. I researched which chemical ingredients contribute to hair loss. The list includes (but is not limited to) DMDM hydantoin, fragrance, phenoxyethanol, cocamidopropyl betaine, and propylene glycol.
Dietary Changes
I found several alopecia areata bloggers and YouTubers who promoted the Autoimmune Protocol (AIP) diet. This is the paleo diet with additional foods that you eliminate for a time and then reintroduce to determine whether a sensitivity/intolerance exists. The diet appeared so extreme to me I wasn’t quite willing to take the plunge. So I decided to start with eliminating gluten, dairy, sugar, all oils except coconut and olive, and processed foods.
For the last several months I had been experiencing frequent – almost daily – stomach cramping. I also burped a lot (which my tween daughter never failed to loudly object to every time it happened). I had researched Dr. Google on that as well and read that gluten or dairy might be the culprit, but I wasn’t willing to give those up. Ironically, my vanity motivated me where pain hadn’t. Once I eliminated the offending food items, I noticed immediate relief from the cramping. To my delight, I also saw my weight begin to drop. Unfortunately, after about six weeks, my bald patch had grown much larger. Somehow I had the presence of mind to photograph the spot when it happened and then again later, otherwise the gradual loss may have gone unnoticed.
I had another minor meltdown. At this point, I decided I needed to give the AIP diet a try. I went all in. Immediately, I felt an energy boost. My husband even noticed; at dinner he accused me of acting like I had a caffeine buzz. In reality, I hadn’t had one cup of coffee that day, as coffee is eliminated on the diet.
No More Hair Dye
In addition to the diet and replacing my hair care products, I also made the decision to stop dying my hair. This was very traumatic for me. At 46, I wasn’t prepared to be gray-haired yet. There are very few of us who go gray before 60. But the chemicals in hair dye are quite toxic and there is no such thing as nontoxic hair dye. Even dying with henna is a lengthy process and also drying to the hair follicle, which isn’t good for alopecia areata. I decided that going gray was better than going bald, so there I had it. It was this whole experience that taught me some valuable lessons about vanity and where my self-value comes from.
How our Culture Views Age
Why do I care so much whether my hair is brown or gray? Or how much hair volume I have? I came to realize that it’s our modern culture that dictates we must define colored hair as beautiful, while those with gray hair are ugly. I was so afraid of letting my hair go gray because I didn’t want people to think I’m older than I am. And why do I care about that? Because older people are less valuable to society. Ultimately, I had to confront and acknowledge the voice that was controlling my actions and how I assigned worth to myself. And it wasn’t God’s voice.
Seeing Myself as God Does
So what does God say about where my worth comes from? Does my age change my value? From the beginning of creation, God created mankind in His own image (Genesis 1:27). My favorite psalm describes how special each and every one of us is created:
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
~Psalm 139:13-18
And most importantly, we are valuable because Jesus Christ died for us, so that we could be with Him through eternity. How on earth had I allowed the fear of what other people might think of me to supersede the truth that I am a child of God?
What the Bible Says about Gray Hair
And what does the Bible have to say about gray hair? “The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, If it is found in the way of righteousness” (Proverbs 16:31). It doesn’t sound at all like gray hair is worse than brown. It sounds to me like as we age and grow in the Lord, our gray hair is almost like an earned trophy. Notice the qualification “if”. It’s only a crown of glory if we are walking righteously.
This lines up nicely with the familiar Proverb most of us Christian women are familiar with, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to have a nice appearance. But I can’t let outward appearance be the only thing I work on. It’s all about whether a woman’s character is godly. I’ve known this verse for as long as I’ve been a Christian. I’ve always thought that my focus has been on fearing the Lord. But clearly, somewhere along the way, I had allowed myself to still believe that my appearance would be how others would assess my value, and thus how I valued myself.
Final Outcome
By the time I saw the dermatologist, I already had new baby hairs growing in my bald patch. He gave me some cortisone shots to help it along and I had several more shots in the future months.
I wish I could tell you that was the end of the story, but you’ll notice I didn’t title this post, “How I Cured My Alopecia Areata”. At first, I thought I was through with losing hair. I was hopeful that perhaps my gluten sensitivity was the cause, and that now that I avoid gluten, my hair loss problems would disappear. Unfortunately, that is not the case. My hair is still thinning all around the front sides of my head. I recently went through a stressful couple of months. Afterwards, I discovered to my dismay that I have a new quarter-sized patch of bare scalp.
My Alopecia Areata Today
It’s been over two years since I stopped dying my hair. I’m surprised at how much brown hair I still have. My grayest area is right in the front. Since alopecia areata typically attacks pigmented hair, I’ve got a concentrated section of gray hair right around where most of my hair loss is. My hair also lays down funny on my head, because there isn’t the volume under it to hold it up (I’m pretty sure I’m the only one studying myself closely enough to notice).
I wash my hair every three days. The evening before wash day, I work grapeseed oil with a few drops of Eden’s Garden Hair Love essential oil blend into my scalp. Since it can take three months for hair to start growing, I have no idea if it’s helping my hair grow. However, I can definitely tell that the wad of hair I pick out of the shower drain is significantly smaller, so I will continue to use it. I also still follow a paleo diet. Whether or not my self care has kept me from losing more hair than I otherwise would have, I don’t know, but I’m grateful none the less.
I still cringe every time I inspect my scalp and see more of it than I would like. I still cringe at the sight of my grays. But in the end, it really isn’t that big of a deal to me anymore. (Getting diagnosed with fibromyalgia has definitely helped put things in perspective). God used this trial in my life to get my focus off of what others think of me and onto what He thinks of me. And those are joyful thoughts indeed.